1. I keep trying to write a post about my transformation into a ninja, and failing. I am fairly clear on what I want to say, but however hard I try, it sounds ridiculous. Not good-ridiculous, just...silly. And dull.
So: OK, no, not a ninja. But I have taken a couple of self-defense lessons with someone called Grand Master Angelo. Pretty TMNT, if you ask me.
It was just the two lessons, then I was declared lethal. Well, not lethal, but capable of inflicting serious pain if needed. It was a good feeling. Also, who knew hitting people was so much fun?
2. My children are becoming increasingly picky when it comes to food. At dinner time, you will often hear the words "I want my pasta withooooouuuut sauce" wailed from two different directions.
Pasta without sauce, I keep telling them, is just flour. They don't seem to care.
In an effort to shake things up a little, I have ordered a meat grinder. If that doesn't scare them into compliance, nothing will.
(Alternatively, I can make all kinds of mince. They like mince.)
3. Our garden is finished. It looks, quite frankly, amazing. There is no mud. There is only beauty and clean, clean grass and even cleaner paving slabs. The children love it. I love it. The tadpoles in the plastic tank in the corner would love it, but they only get to admire it through a haze of wet grass and tadpole manure.
We are, as they say, very happy. Even the tadpoles.
4. Kelev's remains are in a little wooden box on my desk. I don't know what to say about that. I would just like to point out that it seems to hurt more with time, not less.
I miss him.
5. We are going on holiday in 38 days. I cannot wait. Actually, I am torn between being ridiculously excited, and petrified that chicken pox volcanic ash attack of the killer tomatoes something is going to get in the way.
I am sure it will be fine.
Did you click on the link? Did you see the map? Did you think, wow, how amazing to be on a really, really thin strip of land in the middle of the Atlantic? Or, bloody hell, that place would be obliterated in a tsunami?
Don't answer that please.